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Tuesday, November 9th, 2004
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hello my old journal. i loved you more than life itself.
not really.
don't worry though.
we won't be cold dissing each other anymore.
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Wednesday, March 31st, 2004
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yesterday, i threw up.
and you know,it wasn't all that bad.
i realized, yes, The only drink that I can drink is Whiskey.
I got this call in San Jose from you know who going like, "hello...this is eric...I was wondering if you want to go get dim sum..and thrift store shopping..also, i have movies.."
do I!??
(sigh)…yah……..
so after a 3-4day silence, me and eric hung out . he told me immediatly that he liked my shirt and i told him that i was for San Jose because it was nice and hot. he was like, "youlook like a little mexican girl!". I was all, what? Yah, but I'm Pillipina biatch! I think he liked that. So we talked about Six Piece rock bands and our distaste for their "jazz rock funk" sound. Eric said it all fast, "jazzrockfunk". Made us laugh like, "I can't think of any bands with 6 members and above that are cool".
I didn't get paid again. I sat there before I found out all checking my account when this dyke behind me was all, "are you DONE yet???"
I fucked around on the atm longer so as to spite her.
I left and softly/loudly said BIATCH under my breath.I think eric liked that too.
So we went to the thrift store but to no avail and then Dim Sum
So we went to the thrift store but to no avail and then Dim Sum. I was pretty much laughing the whole time. I can't really remember about what. I ate almost a whole mix bun and most of the dumplings. I think eric thought it was funny that i only ate the shrimp dumpling skin. He asked me why and I told him that I was just enjoying this part of it thoroughly. I think he liked that.
So , on the bus, he asked me if I knew some Irish Bar near my place called the blarney stone. I was all, uh, no. But its probably one of those hard core irish names like that.
I told him that I would buy him a drank because I owe him ...i said, 'im RICH BITCH!' on the bus. i think he thought that was hella funny.
Sure enough ,that shit was called ‘The Shamrock’. Heh.
But I had some hot chocolate that was on the house from a plump Asian man who saw that the 44 was lodged and approached. So I said, uh, maybe latterrr.. He said, but later, I have to go home an do shit. This way, I can sober up later. I opted for coming later. So, instead we agreed to get drank at the corner store. WHIISSKKAAYYYYYY.
We never got to the movies because we listened to Underworld instead. As the night progressed and we got drunker, I thought it’d be a good idea to wear my bikini because it was all hot in my room. So, we were on our island really. It was fucking great. Good good times. Later on that night though, I felt the spins and put on my fucking mu-mu to go and throw up. Eric tried to be all nurturing but I had to ask him to get me water. Which he did with a sigh. Fuck. He was all, “krys, do you need to throw up? Because if you’re stomach doesn’t hurt, don’t force it…I think you just need to sleep it off…Come here..awwww…” I ran to the bathroom and threw up 2-3 times…And felt fucking better after that. He spooned and gave me kisses all night. It was great. IN the morning he gave me more kissed on my un-vomitous mouth and the old roll in the hay. Got dressed,whent to eric’s all early, Spooned , more kisses. And then went to class like nothing had really happened. Only on an island. (le sigh)
That night, I had a dream that my father walked in on me and eric. I pushed his head down under the sheets as my dad said in his voice, “oohh my God..”. My mother was there too. I tried to say, “mom..you know eric right?” She stuck out her had for eric to shake but as he went in, she pulled her hand back like ‘sike!’. She was wearing these weird mod sunglasses. Not to meantion that shit, but Alex also came in. I gave him a hug and told him Happy Birthday (which is actually today! Yeah!). So I walked in the early morning blue sun across what looked like an old campus/library to some place. The shit was all coming down when I heard me say, “is that all?”. That’s it.
My shoes were so wet today. All fucking day. Me and eric when to go listen to Yves Montand in the library. It kind of sucked. Like some French Dick Van Dyke show…that sucks. So we opted to play footsey and listen to radiohead.
I just ate some fish and vegetables and I don’t feel fat.
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Thursday, January 8th, 2004
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Funny what a sickness does to you. Today, I hella did my laundry and fixed all day and felt fat because it was all lo energy. What the fuck.
For the life of me, I hadn't been able to sit down and draw and draw.. and today it was like 3 tiny pages of all these critters and ideas for pillows and stuff. When I did have the strength to do that shit, I didn't. And now that I don't, all these ideas spill out. I hope I feel better tommorow. But, I hope I keep the sick person's mentallity.
I haven't written in so long because lots of the stuff that i write about, good or bad, I don't want to jinx. meh.
more later.
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Wednesday, May 14th, 2003
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Thursday, February 13th, 2003
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Thursday, December 5th, 2002
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p.s.-i saw ryan sitting on a bench and i didn't care. thanks.
me and eric had this little tuffle the night before about some shit and i guess it made him dream this:
I was sleeping in his bed in sebastopol when he tried to come in with me. I wouldn't let him and we had this small argument. He saw that i was covered with this bone like thing around my body under the sheets. He got in anyway and I dissapeared. It didn't occur to him to look for me so he just slumbered.
When he woke up he and his mom went to go look for me. His mom was like, "did you check in the shed? She might be in the shed". Eric was like, naw, she wouldn't be in there. His mom pushed the shed idea and opened the door like, "see, there she is". He saw me laying here all curled up on my side with this cinder block next to my head. He got all scared that it fell on me but i just kind of got up and started talking and he thought it was wierd.
Then we went on the porch and started looking at the stars. But the stars were doing crazy things and it looked as if the sky had been painted with streaks of fire. Eric wondered why it happened and i said, "It was the euphoric parts of the universe". He didn't know what it meant but thought it sounded nice anyway. He said, at that moment, he wasn't afraid to die. Then he woke up.
it was nicest thing he's ever said to me. sort of.
anway, i slept over anna's house yesterday and hung out or whatever and it was fantastical. even thought i get hella weird when she lays a couple on me. i pushed away and it felt good and kept my distace if i wanted. its pretty okay i guess.
tight like glue
the other day me and eric were talking about shit and getting our cuddle on and he was all, " i don't know what it is about you that makes me sleep better when im with you".fantastic. i met her outside where eric was. he told me he was happy to see me then and that we should hang out during his breaks. we did that like one time when he didn't have class this one day and hung out in a tree next to science 101 and had hot chcolate. i told this to anna and she said, "....he'f falling for you. ohhh shit..im going to ask him". i told her not to. im starting to like, or more, get used to how things are. so don't.
the other day when i got my cuddle on, i told eric that i feel safe in his arms (i know it sounds corny. fuckers). and he said, "you should becuase you know id protect you from anthing that'd try to hurt you."
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Friday, November 15th, 2002
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the other day, eric had this dream about me.
the night before,there was this power outage in the dorms. i chilled by thee lonesome contemplating on whether or not to give eric a ring. i didn't. he came before i could really make up my mind. it was all good though.
we sang some radiohead in the dark and some underworld.but, i felt like we were hanging out like thee old times and i was thinking too much, a little nervous like, oh shit, i hope things aren't weird now that im getting along so well with him and making out or whatever.
but anyway, i was laying down and he layed right ontop to make a human 1/2 walnut,eric being the shell. i was nice. he play kissed me on the neck but the started to really go at it.it was really weird. i thought, is he just doing this becuase hes hella feeling me or am i just there with him all hot and bothered.
so,of course, he had some other shit to attend to but he noticed i was all bothered.
it was awful. we talked about the breakup again. it didn't hurt for him so much. he said, "oh, i didn't know it would make you sad like that. the first time we talked about it,it was more like, a more recent thing so the conversation was more heated. but now that time has passed....". i felt like he didn't even feel for me at all. and then he started to talk about his girlfriend. which made me hella more upset.
we talked about eventually dating other people but for now not wating anything. i told him how i felt like a slut once in a while and that i get sad that we get along so well becuase, shit, why aren't we together.
he said, "when you go out with a person, its like making a promise...and right now i don't want to be all dedicated to some girl".
horrible. he kept on trying to tell me that i was all special to him and that i was one of his best friends (thats a girl/in the city) but i didn't buy it really. i never do.
so, i went on the next day wanting to fucking die becuase i felt needed only for the booty.i tried to sell some of my clothing so as to see a movie sometime during the day. nobody wanted to buy. so shit, i slapped down 4 fitty on the dangerous life of alter boys. i have yet to see it.
heres why. eric called me up later on that night to see what i was doing or i guess t check up on me. i guess he borrowed some movies so i could chill with him and so he wouldn't feel so bad or whatever.
it was cool. we watched his sad japanese movie and came to the conclusion that the lead japanese woman was damn fine.
and then the hankety panktey make up shit.
which repeated again today. except, im not feeling him all the sudden. hes being this tre-cool charater to me. it was only near the end of everything when we talked about bjork and underworld and loosing yourself and how it was good listening to underworld while walking to someones house on a sunny day , that i felt like i was really talking to him.
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Friday, November 8th, 2002
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i guess im pretty happy now adays.
i don't really know if i still like eric or not. now that i can kiss him if i like (well, "once in a while" as eric says) i don't have that want so much. i like that we are getting along so goddamn well. i couldn't even imagine us getting along so well before. it kind of sucks actually. i thought about us going out again. and i thought that i would'nt want that. and i thought, i don't want to go back on birth control and i don't like wondering all the time of what he thinks about "us".
so i guess then, that we are both just scared to let anything happen between us. i don't want to have things be weirnd again between us. it happened for a couple seconds when i woke up next to him a couple weekends ago but i don't know.
he tells me all the time that im beautiful and he doesn't understand why i don't believe him.
well, this is the logic i guess. if he really thinks im that pretty and if he is so fond of me,than why can he stand not to have me.
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Monday, November 4th, 2002
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i always try to dissuade anyone to go to dinner at the dining center with me. and why? becuase when i fuckin chow, its business. no bullshit. i would like to say, after some sweet rack of lamb, i booked it and i still look good. also, for a non-showered peoples, i look pretty damn good in my brand new target t-shirt and stretchy pants. i feel like a modern dormroom fantasy. ha.
in any goddamn case, yesterday, me and the rents got me some new specs which i will goddamn pick up heck of soon. but who fuckin cares. being home is so good. i forgot how i liked the tiny solitude of thee house and the rents watching whatever downstairs and ken doing whatevers. he was pretty happy to see me i must say but i kept on blowing him off becuase i was tired. too fuckin bad. it was kind of mean too. i raided in and made him let me borrow a stack of gian robot/badassmofo magazines and gustman comics (indie comic rawk yall).i don't know. ive been sourrounded by peoples the whole goddamn week/months.but in any case, i looked at my brother yesterday and thought, hes a handsome man.
it was good time kids. im going over the floor plans for my stuffed monsters that i will distribute for festivus.
oh yes, and thee day with my galls:maria and santilli
goddamn kids, it was pretty much sweetness. i got me some subway sandwhiches and what now and santilli had some rank soup. maria was feeling only luff from mac do.
the only little black cloud that was hovering over our heads was joe. thats maria's boyfriend. he wasn't doing anything. in fact, he didn't come in contact with us at all. me and santilli were allsright with that but the lather was not. i had non-communication its bullshit. wall anywho, she got that shit fixed the next day:
ratonga-"its not me! its him!"
oh if words could be dipped in chocolate. they'ed be 19X sweeter.
i would also like to thank the movie Harold and Maude for opening my eyes to another one of krystal's picks. i bought that shit the next day.
me and satilli booked it to berkley after and had a hells a good talk about the mark situation and alls that and made a victoly when we picked up a loved to death copy of the H&M. fantastical.
one thing about that part of the day that can kiss my ass is the fat chinese man that gave us our terriyaki bowl. he hella shook his head disgust . whatever bitch.
i ordered another fuckin bowl becuase thats how we do it.
me-can i have another beef teriyaki bowl please
him-(stares for a minute and then punches the keys with his fuckin finger)for here or to go
me-for here
him (stares again for longer and then shakes his head in disgust).(angrily)i can't understand you.
i walk away and that fuckin tard goes:"first you order five then you order one! you think this is a game!!!!"
me-please sir! i gave you money!
fuckin kids. me and val left a message on some napkin. and it read:
YOUR ANGER WILL ONE DAY KILL YOU
its fantastic. val opted to steal the bowl and walk out but it never wen to play.
we both rushed home to see our significant others i think.
that would be eric i guess.
he came to get me from the elevatore and carried me little baby styles into the lift. and as i got off, he carried me,again, into the threshhold. fantastic. it was pretty good, he sort of held my hand during Harold and Maude and chilled inbeween me.it kind of sucked near the end of the night whilst we were getting down though. he stressed the fact that he couldn't be caught sleeping with me on the couch. because, "people would talk". and that "we can cuddle and kiss...just not all the time". i agree but it still made me feel kind of bad. shit. you see, i can' t sleep in his room becuase i think his roomate has a crush on me and he got jealous last time and my roomie is slumbering.
funniness. eric had to walk to my place all blue-balled. it was like deep touch/petting in th elevators.
but then he got all tired and was like, " i don't know man. if we go, we better go now because i don't think ill be up to speed". im all, hell no, i want some action and i want it straight away. so there you go. i got my fix. rightly so! damnit. like i haven't given enough favors shiiatte.
after the shit went down we had a little talk and i told him that his new art made me more proud of him and that its like a window and that i wish more people knew him and the way he thinks. he told me that we're more than just friends with benefits.he said,"you're like my best friend in the city". thats pretty good i think. i guess it was better when we were in the heat of things and he said ,' you look pretty good right now..i mean it". that was nice. i think so as not to feel like such a bag, he tried to wait till i fell asleep before i got to bed. i eventually told him to go. i was never going to sleep.
i sort of tried to leave before he woke up but he got up anyway. sokay. its weird. i think im getting used to things. in the heat of things, he also asked me if i was on birth control still. i said no, why? he lied,"just asking". i got nervous and said, "if you care about this friendship, you won't let it go beyond what we're doing right now. he said, well , whats the difference from what we're doing right now? i said, well, in order for you to have sex with me, i think you'd have to love me. and i don't think you do. he just kind of smiled. yah, its the politest "no" respose.
hmm..
i rad into a friend today and he rad off saying , "im late for class". ha. since when was that a concern for him. dammmnnn...cold diisseeedd
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Friday, November 1st, 2002
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i bumped into honey today and she said she'd text me to give me a talk. did that shit ever happen? helll noo..
oh well, it sucks to be a cornflake:
alex came to town and shiatteee, we hungs out and got taro and vietnamese fool. alex was all cute and funny and all that and made a slapping motion when it came to my ass. whilst we were eating there was this cute waitress that alex and eric smiled at allot as she passed. don't think she fuckin cared. when she handed the soup over alex looked her straight in the eye and thanked her twice. ha. nerd. id be floored. i think i got him glancing at me and smiling and all that. i don't know. whats going on here. can i get some odland action here. yeah.
we went to the beach after and anna and i kicked it in the ocean while the guys just kind of walked around. i wonder what they were talking about. well shit, i stayed in long enough so the stinging pain that was shooting up my feel and into my calves from the cold dissapeared and it was actually damn refreshing. anna was like, awwwfuck it and just fell into the ocean. i think she did it to be cute but you know, it worked for me. it was kind of a nice feeling becuase, i was walking by myself as the kids waited for me down it. everybody was looking at me. anna was like, "how you doin beauty". it was nice. she told me that after i got out of the car, she said out loud that i looked super cute today. eric was all, "yah, she's a cuttie allright". alex said nothing.
the whole time, alex was having us touch his wound from skating and bumping into me from my back and tried to flat tire me. i like being a girl.
oh i kind of forgot, whilst we were eating, eric asked me what i was doing tonight. i thought about it and was all, "im gooing with....somebody..". he was like, "who?". i said a friend. hes like, "what friend". it was too cruel. i looked down at my food and was all, "i don't know....just a friend....". eric kind of jokinginly said, "what you have to keep secrets from us, you can't tell us?". i just kind of looked down.
and i do it, just becuase i can. i told him the truth later though:
i was actually supposed to kick it with santilli, a girl who is my best friend, but she cornflaked on me becuase she missed her boyfriend and was depressed about it. mah.
before ken got all tired and failed to bring my halloween costume along side my b.c. pills and platforms, i was going to be Margot Tenenbaum. i hate trafic.
so shit, things are already shitty becuase anna doesn't want to go:
anna-"...its just so superficial thats all"
and eric wasn't haven it either:
eric-"...for three reasons. 1., im just not feeling it. 2., ive got homework to do and stuff. and 3, Im not feeling the whole "muni" thing"
bastards
so, when all else failes, your parents are never too cool to hang out with you. it was pretty cool actually. mom was all scared of the crowd so me and dad just kind of walked/danced up the street to the krunk transvestites and nurses (that is damn sexy). I saw these couple of girls in basebal t-shirts an 70's knee high socks holding a big bag of groceries, chanting-"seniors seniors seniors are the best". we love cult movies.
it was kind of great. im glad doesn't deem anything to inopropriate so me and ken have basically seen it all. thanks parents.
mom and i got all claustrophobic so we booked it. the parents fear for my life all the time since i came to the city. they pushed to walk me back to school. helll noooo. saiight anywho, i told em that i was flattered.
when i came on the bus by myself, this black girl was calling some white girl a bitch for not letting her sit where her friend was sitting. the white girl stayed silent till the end when she got off at the castro and the black girl stayed on. right as she was out the door she yelled, "you fat bitch". the black girl was hella enraged and pushed through the crowd to get her. i felt some of the wrath of her press on nails. biatches. the point was, i saw her on the way back home to. she looked at me like allot. i hope she wasn't too embarrased. lawd knows id be. shit.
back at school, i op to hang out with eric becuase, shit. what else am i gonna do. plus i was feeling the luff.
we decided that we'd have a little dress up party of our own. but shit, if fell through and we ended up playing how to dissapear completely and black star and sulk and "our signature song" let down. it was damn nice of em. and shiate...we watched the eric odland film fest on video. the baby eric is hot i think. i would have had a big crush i think. he had this long hair and braces and a lisp. my gawd thats hot. and shit, he made movies. yah. im in love with what he is just not him. does that make sense?
it was kind of funny, eric and i were all making faces and trying to be sexy and all that and eric kind of walked into the room all dashing. it was so fucking great.
anyway, we were having this okay chill time and talked about sex in general and erics theory on evolution of the kiss and the hug-
"like ive said before, whoever invented the hug was a genious". aww.
so we just swapped places putting our legs ontop of eachother and whatever. he got up to get some water and gave me a sip.
then eric said, "let me try something."
he took a big sip of water, put down the mug, and kissed me. it felt so good.
he said after, "was it cold?".
we couldn't get down to hard becuase eric said it was getting late. he was falling asleep and so was i. sort of. so, he gave me a full bodied hug. he told me earlier that since he's known me, he (or maybe I) have become a better hugger. awwwwwww..
before i left i asked him if he felt weird about kissing me:
eric-"why?"
me-"becuase you know, im your friend"
eric-".yyah..its a little weird. but you're different....and its nice"
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Thursday, October 31st, 2002
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mann....
ive been feeling pretty good about the whole anna not being around so much situation. and its allright i guess. im just trying to find a goddamn hobby/job to keep my shit occupied. damnit.
like today, i went downtown in hopes of a half ass job with good pay: usher at the curran theatre. those fuckin squares. ahhhh.
i went in and got led to right into the theatre. its so small adn the set is pretty wack. just a white chair. in anycase, i felt this overwhelming need to rush that shit and perform.
and you know why??
"you are nooott alloonnneee...."
long story short, the curran can kiss my ass.
thats what we do.
the other day i hung out with eric and he gave me a piggy back ride so i could touch the ceiling. and near the end of the night, he read me some of The Lord of the Rings. when im old, ill think about nice things boys did for me like that. we talked a little about performing for people we love and how we always fuck up in the process. there you go. it was pretty alright.
man, i waited up like all night for eric to calls me back and be like, hey, my cute as fuck brother is in town so come hang out. sweet christmas. 12 am kids:
eric-"..we're gonna watch a movie and we were wondering if you want to come over"
huh?
i came anywho and eric picked me up in the elevator and gave me a hug the whole way becuase i was cold. sweet.
damn. alex's hair looks pretty bad. ugh.
they were watching , as alex said, "the starwars of kung foo movies". oh lord.
it was aiighhtt. he had the hidden sadness thing going on. i mean, i asked him about how his trip to L.A. to visit his sort of ex girlfriend went and he pretty much discussed hollywood blvd. no girl talk there man. ah. except, "jesse..isn't his friend hella hot?". eric kind of hesitated to say and then was all, "yah, she is..."
ah, what are you gonna do. i upt to leave and alex gave me a nice big hug. i didn't even realize how well his arms could wrap round me. ahh, thee perks of being petite. i gave eric a around the wiast hug and kind of jiggled. he moved his arms a little lower. it was nice. too much package. grr.
and now, im here and not studying.
i asked ken to bring me a couple things:
1.allot of hangers
2.blue 70's jackets
3.parka to end all parkas
4.margot tenenbaum dress
5.platform shoes
8.purple dress
9.birth control pills
beware of mood swings. ugh.
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Saturday, August 3rd, 2002
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| Subject: | nahtang |
| Time: | 2:12 am. |
| Mood: |  sleepy. | | Music: | weezer-el scorcho (acoustic). |
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im kind of too tired to be excited for London and Rome and Italy and France. i just want to sleep right now. this is ken's plan. he's going to stay up all night and then be hecks of sleepy in the morning. yahhhhh ken. so, ill probably not write in this shit for quite some time.luff me and miss me.
im kind of bummed that eric didn't call me to say bye. not that ive talked to him lately (its been a couple weeks already i think).but still. had this been sometime in the past, he would have called and made some bullshit conversation which i would have gone with. i miss the old eric. fucck. maybe im just really fucking lonely. val and mark, super interracial couple (who got a dirty look from a lady when walking together, which ive always wanted to get), hella kissed and touched all day which made me feel hell of weird. i pretended to be enthralled by the scenery allot. i probably won't talk to Eric when i get back to school. i don't think he'll care. i kind of wish i was still this untouchable hot merchandise that he couldn't have like before. theres this scene in my mind where eric is at this party that im at. theres this one guy who goes, yah, that girl over there is hella hot. and eric goes, "oh her? been there. done that."
im feeling pretty sad right now. but who cares.
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Wednesday, July 31st, 2002
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lets recap the fucking summer
1.i got a job at ross
2.i sneak over to sebastopol more than 3 times
3.i quit my job to spend more time with eric
4.eric fucking dumps me
5.i cry for 1 1/2 days and then get over it(ie-mocha coconut franppacino's and dvd's)
6.spend time with anna at her pad(who takes me to the Hush Hush)
7.take naked pictures of best friend for her b-fiends b-day
8.i cut my hair again because i am felicity
9.make amends(im not bitter)with thee ex's and explain my Will if i die on plane europe
10.piss of jesse who drives in the boonies of Daly City to get me home from the Breeders
11.make amends by going to see his band in fuckin Concord
currently in the process of getting my flirt on and buying thunderous quantities of indie rock (ie-breeders y imperial teen) and dvds(amelie y the royal tenenbaums). don't worry. im celibate.
in about 15 minutes, katie's going to call me and we will go to her house and bake a cake. its therapudic. things are lookingup. thee ex's aren't so bad except for eroc, who i haven't heard from since i called him a week ago. (which is kind of fine by me.buttmonkey.)
i have a thought.in london, there's this place called "debate square" or something like that. its basically where anybody can stand up and say anything or talk about anything and a crowd will assemble. maybe ill talk about the dangers of being a romantic and serve myself as living proof that it will only get you a one way ticket to shitsville.
also, katie told me that she knows this guy (they call back and forth) that works near her and they call each other up and come up with crazy board games over the phone. he thought of one where people put boxing gloves on hockey sticks. its called, long distance boxing. a luff fantastic
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Saturday, April 20th, 2002
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i dont know if ill write in this anymore.
yesterday, i found out something that made me cry really hard. i can't remember how long its been since ive gotten news like that. i never want to be hurt bad again.
its just not enough to be completely dissapeared.
or worse
replaced
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Tuesday, April 16th, 2002
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so, i had the idea that id buy a thong becuase im a crazy skank ho. booked it after Fables and Tales, skipping lunch so i could squeeze my jelly into shit like a krispy kream.
it felt pretty good to walk all that much. i remembered in the beggining of the year when i was all excited to be in the city and id walk every day, downtown or to the mall or whatever and id look for new music and good stuff like that. finding whatever in borders or downtown. i found this guy, Brendan Benson. he sounds seventies with the wicked gross backroud vocals and the Air drums. its all gravy.
im a fat fuckin cow kids. i dont want to see my ass for a while.it was a knarley situation.let me fuckin tellyou. all the more rewarding though. dkny was the only one that gave me props with the eight dollar underwear. hook it up son. its a large though cuz im heavyset. ive got shame to spread like disease.
i forgot that eric needed some help on his latex project.(make shit out of condoms, basically). it was uncomfortable as fuck shopping for that shit. he didn't have any money so i had to come with. it was allright i guess. he used to talk about how, when he was small, he never did the whole dressing to look like an individual thing (the most he's gone is the flannel.yah) plus he told me that i should break out the doc marten's again becuase he likes that shit. i guess. im over that look but i can rock the goth look. jesus fuckin knows that the crack addicts around our school think its kosher ('the new faint record is sooo rad. fuckin-a'-those retards)
so, i spent the afternoon dipping the condoms in water and fuckin blowin that shit up. i still smell like that shit. gross.
Emo-core statement of the goddamn day:
its finally raining outside. ive missed it. i feel pretty good. better than usual lately. better than ive been since march maybe.
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So Anna and Eric, mostly Eric wanted to get "blasted" on the weekend. Uh, whatever. So, i thought id use my savy and my cousins i.d. to buy liquor. Shiaate. Whatever. So, whilst they were watching Sleeper (which was pretty fuckin sweet) i put on my "oh marie, daaarrling. Do you love The Velvet Underground pre Nico?" outfit and yah.
let the fucking begin.
so anywho, anna came in and said that Joey , oh boy who used to have the hots for me on my floor, was going to have a "kegger" and we should do that. Oookkkay.
keep in fucking mind that i dont go to party's here nor do i go to parties like a true hermit the frog. so, getting ready was like prom. at least it was that fun. anna was ready with her "subtle but sexy" outfit. i put my flats on and booked it like moby dick.
mmkay. let see. so we get there and Emily is there and i give her shit for liking Joey becuase he's a fuckin dufas. Hes a but of a skater.not one of them rollerfags. the kind of wacky guys that make it look like they're humping things when around friends.
so, i guess i have a small drink and im red as fuck becuase im a weakling when it comes to booze and i like it that way. i tried not to talk to eric too much becuase he told me that he doens't like to stick to one person when out. he likes to move around and meet new people and that he hates it when couples sit on the couches, holding hands and saying nothing. i didn't think that was a bad idea at all.
so, i think he saw me talking to Anna's friend Ben and was fuming a little. jealousy is the key to my heart boys. it was nice. i came back from where ever i left to for a minute and eric was chatting it up with Ben. i sat down and he did the whole, arm over my shoulder shit which was good. ahh jealousy. i luf it. (it might not have been just that but ladies, let me think so.)
they had some knarley concoctions. like, vodka and coke. dissgusting. eric had this hug microwavable mug full of that shit. hallarity.
so, we booked it becuase eric thought it was lame and all that and anna wanted some food or cold air or some shit like that.
so, this kid ben, has a ok aparment. all sorts of flags on the wall. one big norwreigen one. eric was all, oh, i should have known that that was that. Ben says that he had to represent or some witty as hell comment like that. blah blah blah.
so me and eric filed though his sweet dvd's to find (pie), run lola run, snatch, hedwig, and all sorts of cult films. so, hung out by the window which kind of looks like the outside of Kelly's apartment , right near the shchool of the arts. Eric says that, he heard that of you look at things that are supposed to be stretched out in a straight line into the distance, will looked curved and that sometimes, like today, he'd pass by a building and look up and it and see if it curves. makes me happy to hear it.
so, anna's getting her funk on and all that and also her flirt apperantly. this kid Ben, gave her a kiss on the cheeky cheek and what not. i came in the room to get her and they were all holdin hands. i did a mad pivot that i learned in modeling class when i was small and fat. like fuckin clockwork.
so, me and eric booked it and the rest is non of yalls bitchnach.
i woke up heck of comfortable and heck of glad that i slept though the night. naked. ha. but not without misquito bites. fuck.
breakfast at with anna, who had wicked hickies, and eric, who started at me a little bit whilst i was eating. that was cool.
booked it liked moby dick and met the rents for some japanese goodness. the cherry blossom festival. yah. some old people were doing tai chi and the wind was a blowin. i told ma that i hoped thier shirts would fly off.
Ma-"oh, i can see there tuba!(haha)"
for alls yah that tagalog-tarded, that shit means that she could see their fat. my mom is the best.
the mall was out swarming with asian goodness. hello kitty shite and all that. tapioca drink in abundance. yuuup.
thougth about saturday night a little and lost my concentration. funny funny stuff.
thoguth about thomas morgan twice because he tried to learn some japanese backs in the heezay which was attractive.
i found shit loads of Nygano and Choco Cat shiatte and should have made a purchase.
ah well.
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i dont know. eric was doing his correctional homework becuase he is an offensive litterer and one of the questions was, "what are five good trates about yourself and what are some examples for it". one was funny. i told him that he should put a joke for the funny one. he laughed heck of hard. i told him the "two penuts walk down the street. one of them gets assualted" joke. he thought that was fuckin great. he couldn't put it though cuz it was violent.
some crazy fuck called me up and asked if i had his dildo. i said yah and and he should come and get it. i told him to look out his window. i think that scared him a little.
i had some knarley food today:
old fried rice
1/5 of an old sandwhich
1/2 of a new sandwhich
korean rice crispies (2)
1/2 old burrito
and
a hot chocolate
i am gross
oh yah, plus, my old friend kristine had me walk with her to class because she wanted to vent about her crazy roomate.
kristine-i bring food from home and she eats it
me-tell her that she can't eat it then
kristine-i can't.(whisper) shes fat.
yahh.
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taelon's journal
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